Our pregnancy story

I'm writing this post with a heart so grateful and so full...

There's so much I want to say to all of you,

to those of you who've prayed for us and with us, 

for those who have opened up to me and shared your struggles,

for those who have come to me and shared your story.

Thank you.

If there's one thing I know for sure,

There is power in prayer.

Kyle and I have been trying to start a family for about two years now.
I'm aware, two years may sound like nothing to some of you.
But when you want something SO badly...two years feels like a lifetime.
Two years of trying, two years of negative tests,
two years of watching others post baby announcements and live out your dream of starting a family.
During those two years I made multiple appointments.
The first appointment wasn't until after the first year of trying,
I went to my obgyn and expressed my feelings of concern.
I told her we'd been trying for a year
 and I was afraid and worried that it hadn't happened for us yet.
She quickly laughed, She said "You're young and healthy",
 "I'm sure you're fine, just keep trying for a few more months"
Well that wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for,
I wanted a baby NOW.
I left the appointment feeling discouraged and frustrated.

Fast forward to a few more months of trying and failing.
Then there were the months of completely giving up hope and not "trying or tracking" at all,
but secretly hoping it would happen since we "weren't trying" anymore.
Nope that didn't work either.
After a couple more months I decided I just wanted to go straight to a specialist,
I made two appointments with two different specialists and each one had to be cancelled because of something getting in the way.
Which was extremely frustrating.
I just wanted some answers.

After more thought, I decided I just needed to switch to a different obgyn,
within 2 months I had made 4 different appointments to visit an obgyn
and figure out what's going on with my body....
Every single time the appointment would roll around,
something would come up and I would have to cancel.
This happened 4 times y'all, F O U R.
I finally realized that this couldn't be a coincidence and it had to be God.

Was this God's way of telling me to just stop and be still and trust in Him?
I went back and forth and talked to loved ones and
couldn't figure out what this meant or why this kept happening.
Why did I keep having to cancel these appointments that I wanted to happen SO badly.
What was Gods plan? I just couldn't make sense of any of it.
About a month later I decided to attempt to make an appointment again.
On June 7th I finally arrived at my appointment.
The doctor was great, very friendly, and very proactive.
I shared our story with him and he was honest with me and told me that from what he hears,
It sounds like a classic case of unexplained infertility,
but of course he wouldn't know for sure until we started digging deeper.
He encouraged me to start taking prenatals again.
(I was taking them for a while, but had stopped because I was so frustrated and discouraged)
We set up an appointment the following month for me to get my uterus/tubes checked,
and he referred a place for Kyle to get checked out as well.
I FINALLY had a plan of action, we were finally going to get some answers.
I immediately went to the store and bought me some prenatals,
I was so thrilled to have a plan and answers to look forward too!

That month crept by slowly, but I was still so happy to have a plan of action.
Even if we didn't have a baby soon, We would have answers.
Fast forward to about nine days before my appointment....
On Monday, June 26th around 9am,
I fell to the ground in shock, sobbing, gasping for air, and praising Jesus.
God had finally answered our prayers, 
those little tests that often brought so much pain and heartache
finally read a big YES+.

I could not believe it, Was I dreaming? Is this real?

All of those cancelled appointments made so much more sense now.
If we would have started this process when I wanted it to start,
we would've wasted so much time and money,
and honestly probably would've been left with no answers and more frustration.
It's amazing how God works.
His plans for our lives are FAR FAR greater than our own.
He allowed me to finally go to an appointment because he KNEW
that I needed it emotionally.
By going to that appointment I received the promise of answers and hope for my future,
By going to that appointment I started taking prenatals and better care of myself,
Going to the appointment helped me become in a better physical and emotional state
for the baby that I had no earthly idea that was already growing inside of me.

It was a long and frustrating two years of waiting,
but God worked on me in SO many ways during those two years.
I needed more time to grow, I needed time to make mistakes and learn from them,
I needed time to figure out who I was.
Looking back, I really wasn't ready for a baby.
Gods timing really is perfect,
He knows our hearts and our needs SO much better than we do.

Kyle and I are [totally still in shock] absolutely thrilled to become
Mommy and Daddy to this sweet baby BOY that God has chosen for us.

Sunday Evening Adventures.

This Sunday Kyle and I were doing our usual "Sunday"...

Ya know, sitting on the couch watching tv, 

then eating, then sitting on the couch watching tv, then more eating.

It was about 4:30 and I leaned over and said, 

"Lets drive to San Antonio & take Charley on a hike"

I was 100% dead serious, and he was actually considering it for a second.

But then - he had a better idea.

I've been begging Kyle to just take Charley & I out on the boat since he got the boat back in July.

I remember years ago, when we hadn't been dating long, he took me out on his grandpas boat,

just the two of us - and it was one of the best days of my life.

Wellp, this Sunday definitely topped it. 

We grabbed the girl and a bottle of wine & headed out to the river about 5pm, 

It was raining, but we didn't care. 

We drove around for a bit and then Charley and I jumped in and swam for a little while.

There are these little beaches of sand along the side of the river so we decided to park,

andddddddddd we discovered my new most favorite place EVER.

It was unbelievably peaceful, and beautiful, and JUST the escape we needed.

We walked around & drank some wine,

Then sat down for a bit and talked...

It was just the random adventure that we needed.

Three Years...

Top: WindsorStore | Jeans: LuLus | Booties: ShopMCE | Choker: LuLus

It's the little things in life and marriage that really make it worth while. 

Today marks three years since Kyle asked me to be his wife, 

and although there have been many rough patches along the way...

I have never been more proud to call him my husband.

Marriage is no joke y'all,

and there is NO such thing as a perfect couple.

Kyle and I may have 100 different struggles and stresses and things on our minds right now-

but it's the little things that get us through each day.

He walked in this morning as I was getting ready for work-

looking a hot mess and blasting Texas county music. 

Half my hair was on top of my head, half my makeup was applied,

and I was wearing my grungy "get ready" clothes.

He picked me up and held me for a minute - 

and then started dancing around our dirty bathroom, with me wrapped around him. 

That. 

That's what matters. That's what makes all the hard times worth while. 

the little moments that don't necessarily come often, but mean everything. 

I love you because you make me laugh, 

but I love you more because you love me like Jesus does. 

Thanks for asking me to spend forever with you Kyle Reagan. 

What's New?

Hey, what's up, HELLO.

For those of you that continue to read this little, unorganized, inconsistent blog of mine - 

I love you. 

My life has done a complete 180, and well, i'm still getting used to it.

I spent my first two years of marriage working from home, 

and now i'm working full time an hour away from home.

and boy oh boy it has been an adjustment. 

However, I CAN say that I have never been happier.

Having an actual space outside of my home for my store 

has been the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

The people I am surrounded by bring SO much joy to me every day,

and in just 4 short months I can already see so much growth within myself.

I figured i'd spend today catching all of you up on what's been going on lately.

1. Kyle and Corey [his cousin] purchased a boat for the fam.

we've been spending every single weekend on it and it's been Heaven.

2. Kyle & I have been on the hunt for a new home a little closer to my store.

The hunt has been ridiculously hard, prayers are welcome.

3. Charley got fleas, which then led to our entire home being infested with them for 3 weeks.

We are now [finally] flea free, hallelujah.

4. I've been thinking about slowly starting to design my own pieces of clothing.

when I say thinking -- I literally mean thinking -- like y'all may or may not be the very first people i've actually told about these thoughts. 

5. My sister and I went to the My2KTour with 98 degrees, Ryan Cabrera, and O town and it was hands down one of the most refreshing and fun nights of my life.

Boy Bands Forever.

6. I've recently become addicted to vietnamese iced coffee.

(Damn you, Hello Tealicious)

7.  I'm becoming myself.

In this big filtered world it's very easy to lose yourself, to mimic others, to try to be like everyone else, to try to be perfect.

 It's so easy to compare yourself and your relationships to others and to forget that you're unique and perfectly imperfect in your own special way. 

In the last few months i've learned a lot about myself, i've learned who I do and don't want to be. I've learned that it takes life lessons and difficult times to grow into the person you're supposed to be. 

I've learned that Gods grace covers me far more than I deserve.

I've learned that nothing in life comes easy and hard work and prayer are essential.

I'll be back tomorrow with a little outfit post for y'all.

Happy Monday and keep it real.

What i've learned -- in my 2 years of marriage.

First, and foremost.

I am by no means a person to be giving any marital advice, that is NOT what this post is.

It's just me sharing what i've experienced & learned  in my 2 years of marriage,

 after making mistakes and doing a little trial and error. 

My hope is maybe that it will help someone who may be experiencing the same things,

to know they are not alone,

or prevent them from experiencing some of the hardships of marriage that can be avoided.

Let's get started....

There is no such thing as perfect people, 

which means there is no such thing as a perfect marriage/relationship.

So to everyone watching romance movies and reading romance novels

 and expecting that to be your future, keep crying ladies, because perfect men do not exist.

Neither do perfect women, so go ahead and set your tiara down.

We as humans have a sinful nature, and that's that.

My husband and I dated a good 7-8 years before we made the decision to get married.

I mean, I thought I knew everything there possibly was to know about him...WRONG.

We had never lived together previously...and good God almighty you learn A LOT about a person after living with them.

For instance, Kyle's learned that I always leave the bathroom messy, especially the sink.

I'm an extremely messy teeth brusher and it drives him absolutely nuts.

Not to mention all of the clothes I tried on for the day, those are all on the floor. 

And I've learned that men are incapable of wiping off the counter/sink after they shave.

Kyle is somewhat of a clean freak (which I love) BUT for some unknown reason

he does not mind his facial hair sitting in our sink for days on end. 

(needless to say our bathroom is repulsive...ha! totally kidding I actually cleaned it yesterday)

Those of course are silly/little examples that you learn to work on for the sake of your spouse.

Kyle and I had a pretty great & easy going first year of marriage,

I remember people always telling/warning us,

 "Ohhhh the first year is the toughest, Just stay strong, you'll get through it"

and I always remember thinking during our first year....

"Dang, if this is what people consider tough then we're going to be the happiest couple alive."

Fast forward to our second year...

"OHHHHH this is what they were talking about!"

Marriage is such a beautiful and amazing gift that God has given us,

but it's also a lot of hard work.

There will be days when you want to physically strangle your significant other...

and it's all up to you to not act on that desire (haha laugh, its a joke --- kind of)

Now i'm not saying EVERY single one of you will experience these struggles, 

but let me just warn you that not one person is exempt from them.

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle financially,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with time management,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with freedom,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with temptation,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with selfishness,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with feeling alone,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with household chores,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with in laws/ family members,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with deaths,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with heart ache, 

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with picking up your socks off the floor...

And consider yourself one of the lucky ones if you only experience one of these at a time.

Because, they sure as hell can all hit you at once,

 and that's only a short list of all of the possible struggles....

But guess what?! It's ALL worth it. 

Whether you're married or not, relationships are hard work, 

and to those people that say, 

"if it's true love it shouldn't be work at all"

they can all go shove that sentence up their butt because they don't know what they're talking about,

or they've just never been in a serious long term relationship before. 

I'm not saying it's always hard work y'all.

Loving Kyle comes very easy the majority of the time.

He's handsome, he's caring, he's giving, he's faithful, he's a hard worker...

I could go on and on about the qualities I adore about him. 

 But one of the most important things I have learned these last 2 years is about myself.

I've finally learned after 26 years that I cannot rely on a man for everything.

God gave us a partner to enjoy and do life with but not to BE our life.

As soon as you start relying on your spouse to be EVERYthing for you, 

you are going to find yourself VERY unhappy.

People are flawed, 

no man/woman will have every single little quality on your "perfect spouse" check list, 

You have to be happy with yourself, and your life before you can truly be happy with your spouse.

You have to find your purpose outside of just being a wife.

And that was one thing I really struggled with this 2nd year of marriage.

Yes I own a business, I work from home, where I'm alone, by myself, all day, every day.

and y'all that's TOUGH. 

I remember being in high school and just wanting to be a stay at home mom, 

or having a job where I could work from home...that was MY DREAM y'all.

And fast forward to now, I'm literally living my dream and i've never been so unhappy. 

But that's okay. Because i've finally learned what's causing that sadness and guess what?

It's NOT my husband!!!!

It's ME.

I am a very social person, I need people, I need communication, I need physical affection, I need to be challenged, I need to have a goal i'm working toward.  

Working from home I get absolutely ZERO of that, and by the time Kyle came home from work every day I was absolutely desperate for all of it...and he was exhausted and just wanted a few minutes to himself. 

This my friends, is a very dangerous path...

Now i'm not going to get into all the details... but if you aren't happy with yourself it can cause you to blame others for your unhappiness. 

It may have taken me a lot longer than I would have hoped but i've finally come to the realization

that it's not my husband that's not giving me enough,

it's me expecting him to give me EVERYTHING, and then being upset when he isn't able too.

You CANNOT rely on your spouse to fulfill your every want and need at all times. 

This is what you have God, family and friends for. 

Happiness starts with YOU, 

not your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with YOU.

I'm so thankful for a God who shows me that i'm capable of so much more than I think I am. 

Who loves me though I fail him every day,

Who sees the depths of my heart and loves me the same.

"I will praise you in this storm. I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away."

Life is all about learning & growing and becoming better than you were yesterday.
And I can't wait to see where God takes Kyle and I the next 100  (give or take a few) years we have together...

A Little Zoo Date Action

This post is long overdue, but better late than never!

Top: LuLus

Plaid Shirt: LuLus

Jeans: Cotton on [similar] [similar]

Booties: 

 Okay y'all these little booties totally changed my life, and are probably my fav purchase all year, they're currently sold out but the brand is Blowfish

AND NOW ON TO THE GOOD STUFF......

Kyle has a lot of vacation days built up so he's pretty much gotten to take off every Friday

for the past few weeks until next year! 

WHICH MEANS.... fun day dates y'all *insert salsa dancing emoji*

The zoo is probably one of my most favorite places ever...

I'm that girl that cries anytime she sees a baby animal.

Giraffes have to be my all time favorite, 

like can't breathe, hold back the tears, try not to scream kind of favorite. 

 (next to dolphins, but they aren't at the zoo) 

I immediately turn into a child when there are giraffes or any animals I love in close proximity,

and I have absolutely no shame about it.

brb while I cry and stare at the giraffes for hours on end.

I have the major sads right now because I was going through iPhoto planning this post,

andddddd ALL our photos from this day are gone :( 

Damn you, iPhoto. 

We had such a fun little day walking around the Zoo, holding hands and being all romantical.

I'm like months behind on blogging...time to get y'all all caught up!

Yoga in the park.

This week was spring break, therefore I didnt have to babysit.

Which meant I had to get anything and everything else done while I had the extra time on my hands!

So, I decided to officially change my name! 

(only took me a year and a month to get started y'all)

I have been absolutely dreading it, I know it's a long annoying process, 

but we are going on vacation in July and I couldn't stand to go by Jones anymore! 

So, on Monday I drove to the social security office to get it done!

Took about 2 hours standing in line [outside] in the GHETTO.

After a little over 2 hours I was finally done, then headed to the DPS.

Y'all....another 2 hours standing in line....

My body was aching like crazy from just standing in the same position for so long.

But thank God I got those 2 parts OVER with. 

Still got a little more to do, but I'm determined to get it all done this week!

I still need to change my name on my passport, credit cards etc. 

Anyone know how to do that for credit cards?!

Anyways...I feel like every week lately has been a LONG one.

But hey I'm healthy and happy and there really isn't anything for me to complain about!

Tuesday evening my girlfriend Liz asked me if I wanted to go to yoga in the park with her.

I couldn't think of anything better I could do.

I have been desperately trying to stretch more and get more flexible, 

and I needed to de-stress!

Liz and I have been to a few yoga classes together...and to be frank, we are terrible.

We pretty much just laughed and took snapchats the entire time.

Which was probably a way better stress reliever than the actual yoga.

Afterwards we met up with Kyle for some margaritas and mexican food...

Which pretty much ruined all of the effort we actually put into exercising that day. 

But hey, yolo. 

xoxo, Monica

Dates and More Dates.

Tank: DaintyHooligan (similar option)

Jacket: Tillys (similar)

Jeans: Paige Denim via Nordstrom

Booties: UrbanOg (similar) 

Necklace: ShopMCE

Last Friday Kyle and I decided to have a quick little date night.
He got home from work a little early so we went to the closest mexican place for happy hour!
Happy Hours with that guy are always fun.

I cannot believe that next Monday is already our 1 year anniversary!
Sheesh this year just flew by.
Too bad we can't afford to go back to Cabo for our anniversary...
I'm really excited to go on a nice date and just celebrate our marriage though,
oh and wear a cute outfit of course ;]
I bought this little black dress for NYE that I didnt get to wear so I think i'm going to wear that!

I've been really lazy with my work outs :( I've GOT to get it together.
Time to go do some videos!!

xoxo, Monica

Life as a Grown up isn't always fun.

Top: ShopMCE.com

Jeans: Paige Denim via Nordstrom (similar)

Wedges: LuLus.com

How come no one warned me that all of my money would disappear when I grew up?
Gosh, paying bills is so lame.
It's not only lame, it's also stressful and depressing.
Ugh.

Kyle and I are currently renting right now,
and ever since the break in I honestly can't wait to get out.
I know break ins can happen anywhere and it was probably just random bad luck,
but still, I do not feel comfortable here at all anymore.

Can someone just loan us a couple 100k?!
HAHA!
Wouldn't that be convenient?!

One bummer about owning your own business is you can't get approved for a loan
until after you've been in business for 2 years, so that's also holding us back!

Kyle really wants to live out on land somewhere,
I would like land also, but I want to live close to the city as well.
Working from home makes you realize how desperately you NEED errands to run,
and a gym to actually go too.
I also don't want to be too far away from family.

I guess this is what happens when you get married,
life decisions start happening, and they aren't as easy to make as you would think!
Unless if you have an unlimited money supply of course.

If you could just be praying for us that would be awesome!
I'm desperate for us to get out of the house we're in now,
so prayers for us to find the perfect home that we both love and that's in a good location.
And of course for me to be at peace in this home until we are able to find a new one.

Happy hump day ladies, and thanks for being so awesome <3

xoxo, Monica

The City We Fell in Love,

There's nothing like being in the city you fell in love with the love of your life.

Kyle and I met right before school started in San Antonio,

and it feels like we basically grew up there together, 

There are SO many amazing memories that this city brings back.

I miss living there SO much so anytime Kyle travels there for work 

I do my best to tag along, even if it's just for a day!

Dress: LuLus.com

Vest: UrbanOutfitters.com [old]

Necklace: Sam Moon

Wedges: LuLus.com

Belt: thrifted

We stayed at a hotel on the RiverWalk and it was perfect.

We walked around looking for a mexican restaurant for a while

because of course we wanted some margaritas.

Thank God, we found one! 

The margaritas weren't that great but the queso on the other hand....

Oh Lord help us, that queso was tha BOMB.

We basically drank it.

After drinking our queso we decided it was the perfect time

to plop in bed and enjoy some shark week!

Want to know what sucks?!

Shark Week ALWAYS comes on just a little before I go on vacation...

Like, it never fails! 

Oh well, looks like I'll be enjoying the pretty sand rather than the blue water.

Hope everyone had a good Monday?

I hate to make y'all jealous but I spent the majority of mine in a comfy king sized bed,

Reading, snacking, watching tv, and doing a whole lot of nothing.

But don't be too jealous because the relaxing is over for me!

Happy Tuesday pretty ladies!

xoxo, Monica

Wedding Bells and Baby Boys.

Dress: ShopMCE.com [old]

Vest: Forever21.com

Wedges: LuLus.com

Necklace: Kendra Scott

Last weekend Kyle & I went to our good friends baby gender reveal party!
It was set up SO cute, and made me REAL excited for when it's our turn :]

Phil actually ended up proposing to Rachel right before the reveal and it was TOO cute.
They were getting ready to open the box of balloons and they opened it and a bunch
of yellow balloons were coming out, phil started getting down on one knee
while rachel was still digging in the box searching for the colored balloons.
Then she FINALLY realized what was happening and it was beyond precious.
I am SO happy for them.
Oh and they're having a perfect baby boy!!

It really is so much fun watching all of your friends "grow up" and start families of their own.
I feel like every single one of my friends is either engaged, married or pregnant right now,
and hey I'm not mad about it!

I can't wait until me and Kyle buy our own house so we can start making our little family!!
<3 <3 <3 Happy Thursday Ladies, the week is ALMOST over!!!

xoxo, Monica